The Bonds we create

I had typed up a huge post about how my computer recently died and other random crap nobody really wants to read.. I did end with something quite interesting though so scrapped the whole post and have decided to start again...

So the title of the blog is - The bonds we create..

What I mean by that is sometimes friendships - but in modelling photography/world its not always so.

Anyone reading this has probably got a close group of people we work with regularly, I have several. All images are by somebody who I have a special friendship with, when I first started modelling over 5 years ago he had also just started to do photography (he started a few months before me). I remember seeing his work and it inspired me, I messaged him - or he messaged me - I can't remember which. Anyway that message started off what has turned into years of images.

Technically my first "booked in" nude shoot was with this gent.. (although I filled in for another model the day before our booked shoot so he turned out to be the 2nd person I shot nudes with). During the first year or 2 we worked together about once a month. Gradually we slowed it down, the traveling down to Glasgow wasn't ideal and life got in the way so I think its every 6 months or so now. I really should make it every 3 months!

To me there is something intimate in working with somebody - obviously not in a sexual way.. Not really even in a friendship way. Its deeper than that but something I cannot describe in words, a feeling of comfort and ease. Its difficult to create that "ease" with people who are strangers so for me I love the messaging exchanges before a shoot and chatting on a shoot. I feel like if I know somebody I will be able to get them what they want from the shoot.

 Like I said its difficult, sometimes we are faced with people who despite being fantastically nice people that "spark" isn't there and its not something I think I can turn on and off. Hell even when working with people who I normally bond with I struggle to find the spark. Maybe thats down to me being a human and having "off" days - and the photographer too.

I don't think I've ever worked with Billy and not felt the bond and spark, his house is like a safe haven for me. The smell of incense wafting through the apartment. Its strange but despite not being at home and there being another person in the room I'm able to go into another world and prance about in the way I would if nobody was watching. People really do lie when they say they can let go on all shoots. Or maybe I just have more trouble "letting go" than others. I'm always very aware of my angles/expressions and try not to do any which will look rubbish, because I never want to look rubbish. With Billy the strange thing is that no matter how much I let go - hangups at the door he still manages to capture it beautifully. Maybe thats more down to his skills at lighting me.. Who knows!

Is a photograph of somebody "letting go" and creating the shapes/lines within the set the photographer has created an artist? can a model be an artist in what she does? So are infact the photographers my muses/my inspiration? I don't see myself as an artist but I like being part of creating art. Am I more involved with the image/art than a printer would be? am I as much of an artist as a camera is? without the camera there is no image and without a model there is no model in the image.

Given that I can't find the words I ideally wanted when I started this post I have decided to retire it and go off and ponder my thoughts for awhile :D

Enjoy the rest of the images <3 nbsp="" p="">
xxx

ps- these are just the film cameras images and not the digital ones.. So I will probably have another blog with similar images soon haha!