Everytime I have trouble sleeping I see it as a perfect opportunity to post on my blog, I suppose its because at 4am-5am during the week every body else is asleep and its often when I feel the need to talk the most, maybe its because I feel like it wont be live listening as I type so its almost like nobody is listening.. Who knows?I spotted another few comments recently on some of my images, thankfully this time the posters didn't feel the need to say I looked like a holocaust survivor they just said I looked horrible and anorexic. I used to respond politely telling them that for my height my weight is average but I have given up trying to educate rude little idiots who feel the need to sprout bullshit whenever they feel like it. My new reply to them is "fuck/piss off", if that makes me seem like a bit of a bitch then so be it :-P I eat like a horse, I have a fine body which I am finally happy with.. I'm not going to start putting on unnecessary weight just to please a few chubby chasers :D
Anyway thats my little rant out of the way - feel better for it already!
Last weekend I had my old chum Billy over AKA Monkey Twizzle, I honestly can't remember how many shoots we have had now but I know this one was well overdue - it had been over a year since we worked together and I bloody missed his shenanigans. Nobody else would turn up to my flat with an ikea lamp/ about 5 really old cameras/ bits of ribbon / shreaded pieces of cardboard and leave with a charity shop £20 wedding dress! (We went for a spot of shopping).
I always have trouble when selecting images from shoots with Billy, often they are pretty "abstract/different" to my norm, half of the time I can't even make out what is in the image but look at the overall shape. we spent more time mesmerised by the shadows I was creating on the wall than taking pictures- When working with Billy I let myself go into some mad trance - like a dance, all my guards are let down and I just go with the flow of whatever we are aiming to get.. Sometimes there is no aim. On shoots there are times when I have to hold back and not get too carried away in the moment and end up doing a pose or expression which I would hate to see on someones portfolio but with Billy there are no limits. Always an incense smoking in the background and some weird music accompanying the shoot.
I hate the fact I am getting older, that i'm closer to 30 than 20.
I want to model forever and I know I wont be half the model I am now in 10 years time and that thought depresses me so I can't dawn on it too much. I am getting more into photography now but the passion I have for modelling wont ever be replaced.
I think I have another 5-6 years in me.. Still 5/6 years is not a long time and when your having fun time goes even more quickly.
ahh
On that note, Im off to bed..
Enjoy the shots :D
xxx

































