Sleeping pattern is a wonky again!

Everytime I have trouble sleeping I see it as a perfect opportunity to post on my blog, I suppose its because at 4am-5am during the week every body else is asleep and its often when I feel the need to talk the most, maybe its because I feel like it wont be live listening as I type so its almost like nobody is listening.. Who knows?

I spotted another few comments recently on some of my images, thankfully this time the posters didn't feel the need to say I looked like a holocaust survivor they just said I looked horrible and anorexic. I used to respond politely telling them that for my height my weight is average but I have given up trying to educate rude little idiots who feel the need to sprout bullshit whenever they feel like it. My new reply to them is "fuck/piss off", if that makes me seem like a bit of a bitch then so be it :-P I eat like a horse, I have a fine body which I am finally happy with.. I'm not going to start putting on unnecessary weight just to please a few chubby chasers :D

Anyway thats my little rant out of the way - feel better for it already!

Last weekend I had my old chum Billy over AKA Monkey Twizzle, I honestly can't remember how many shoots we have had now but I know this one was well overdue - it had been over a year since we worked together and I bloody missed his shenanigans. Nobody else would turn up to my flat with an ikea lamp/ about 5 really old cameras/ bits of ribbon / shreaded pieces of cardboard and leave with a charity shop £20 wedding dress! (We went for a spot of shopping).

I always have trouble when selecting images from shoots with Billy, often they are pretty "abstract/different" to my norm, half of the time I can't even make out what is in the image but look at the overall shape. we spent more time mesmerised by the shadows I was creating on the wall than taking pictures- When working with Billy I let myself go into some mad trance - like a dance, all my guards are let down and I just go with the flow of whatever we are aiming to get.. Sometimes there is no aim. On shoots there are times when I have to hold back and not get too carried away in the moment and end up doing a pose or expression which I would hate to see on someones portfolio but with Billy there are no limits. Always an incense smoking in the background and some weird music accompanying the shoot.

I hate the fact I am getting older, that i'm closer to 30 than 20.

I want to model forever and I know I wont be half the model I am now in 10 years time and that thought depresses me so I can't dawn on it too much. I am getting more into photography now but the passion I have for modelling wont ever be replaced.

I think I have another 5-6 years in me.. Still 5/6 years is not a long time and when your having fun time goes even more quickly.

ahh

On that note, Im off to bed..

Enjoy the shots :D

xxx