Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Old but new part 1

 Well as the title says - new but old.
I wanted to make that quite clear - I know some photographers have major issues with models using older images - which is fair enough. Some of these are older than the others - 2 from 2010, 4 from last year and 1 from only a couple of months ago. If you can guess which is which without opening up any exif data then well done.

I have been clearing out the computer of clutter, running out of space now and my useless images are always the first to go, yes we can go buy some more storage but 80% of the stuff we shoot is basically just taking up space. In Rory and I's lifetime I imagine we will get through quite a bit of computer space with images so I have ditched the misfires/blinkers and horrific shots so they never ever see the light of day. In doing that though I came across some pictures which although weren't "first choice" I felt they should all get some attention and be used in some form.

Its a strange feeling looking over old images, a nice type of strange but tinged with a little sadness.
We all get older, this is a fact and nothing can stop our bodies from getting older, I don't really mind about my body getting older but I do think "how much time have I got left" - in a model sense of course.

Modelling is my world, it has been for 5 years. I have dabbled in photography but the love I have for being in front of a camera cannot be replaced by holding one. I used to fool myself into thinking that it could but it never will. I started when I was 22, in some ways I wish I was younger but in other ways I'm glad I didn't start when I was 18 because I may have taken a different route altogether. I'm not "past it" yet, I can see myself in 5 years still modelling but I imagine the offers I will get might not excite me as the ones I have gotten in the past or the ones I'm getting now. I see small physical changes in my body.. Nothing major like my boobs hitting my ankles but little things. Fine lines which get bigger every year no matter what I put on them. I started noticing them when I was 25 though.

We all go through stages where we want to give up or life moves in another direction, I've wanted to quit a couple of times BUT something always draws me back and I rarely vocalise how I'm actually feeling with my modelling. I think if a model is to say "I'm not enjoying it this week" then people automatically assume she hates modelling and does it for the money.. Like not enjoying something makes you do it grudgingly which has never been the case. For me its a case of having an ugly week and feeling sorry for myself. I maybe care too much about how I look or perform, if I see images back which aren't very nice I blame myself. Sometimes it is partially my fault but other times its out of my control. I can't MAKE somebody better at using light if they don't want my input. I do avoid working with photographers who really don't have a clue because it does save me from feeling shitty.

Below is a shot from a quick shoot Rory and I done with Rachael Lyon - Nicola Fleming @ the cutting room and Sophie Alexis doing makeup. I felt rubbish after that little set because there was something I wasn't "feeling". I wanted a ginger afro, like desperately wanted one so I kind of got one but I just felt like a big ugly blob at the time and avoided actually looking at the pictures after the shoot because I knew I wasn't over flowing with confidence. Anyway I came across one which isn't so bad, it will never be the best shot of me but its not really that bad that it deserves bin status. Plus Rachael looks fab in it <3 p="p">

There is literally hundreds of folders with images on them, some sets which we never even edited. Rory and I don't usually shoot then process 30 similar images - If the shoot has went well then its 5 at most, if its working with somebody else then usually more but when its for just the two of us and we are not overly filled with love for the shots then its usually only 1 or 2. We always aim for 1 good shot :D 

I've decided to do this type of blog every month - until I run out of things to post but I will no doubt be making more pictures in the meantime. So if there was any shots you have seen which you liked and wished to have seen a slightly different variation on it please give me a shout -and I will work my magic.



  1. Just because a picture is old this does not mean that it should not be seen.

    Photographs are a record of a precise moment in time.

    The need to be seen otherwise what is the point?

    They also allow us to see how we have progressed for good or ill.

    You have stated that they make you feel a little sad. That means to me that they are good pictures.

    1. Thank you,
      I think the thing is models uploading old pictures isn't really "encouraged".
      As I said I don't post and process similar images, I try not to bore people too much very often. I always feel they loose their impact. Maybe spacing the use of them out might make it better. Not sad because they provoke that emotion, just sad that I'm not back there doing it all over again :D