Tuesday, 30 October 2012
Given that it is something we all have to encounter I thought a little post on it would be nice.
It sucks yes?
I've had to be the rejector and been the rejected, being in either position is quite horrible. I always try and be super nice when rejecting somebody - I will always just remain vague and polite as to the reasons and wish them luck with their projects and photography and thank them for the message. That should be the end of the conversation however its often not. Yes it hurts our pride but we get over it, I remember the first time I was rejected, thankfully the photographer was really professional and polite and he thanked me for the message and I thought "well thats fine at least he had the curtesy of replying and letting me know it wont happen", I know the reason was because he wasn't interested in my look for whatever reason just like when I have to be the rejector its because I'm not interested in the photographers work or project.
The way not to deal with rejection is to question the persons reason, to tell them they are wrong for saying no - to tell them its the biggest mistake of their lives, to pull apart their portfolios. Somebody has reacted like that with me in the past and its not very nice at all. Instead of just saying "thanks anyway" he took quotes from my profile such as "Happy to work with beginners" thinking that meant that on TF shoots I will work with beginners. I had to point out the section to him which said "if your work is fabulous i may collaborate with you" which made him more angry which in turn made me angry so it was just a big ball of horrible anger which really didn't need to happen. Instead of just a little bit of a hurt ego it ended up leaving us both angry.
Put it this way, if somebody rejects you then their mind is made up - digging further wont make them change their mind if anything it will make them just think you are bitter. Its much nicer to be the person who's head remains high. Don't let it bother you, move on to somebody who will appreciate your skills.
Another good reason to remain confident and in control is that if that person does change their mind at a later date you will either get your shoot or get your own back by rejecting them ;-)
I don't put myself out there very often, I don't think I actually asked anybody who I hadn't been chatting to for a shoot in my first year possibly 2 of modelling. I was quite lucky I guess that those who I wanted to work with also wanted to work with me so I just made sure to be on their radar thus I avoided being rejected but it happens and its part of why we are here, not everybody is going to love us or think we are awesome because peoples tastes vary wildly. One mans trash is anthers treasure they say.
So rejection is not nice, but if you are rejected always say thanks for letting me know. Handle it with grace and be remembered by that person for being polite. I can count on one hand the number of people who I have asked to collaborate with, and I can remember the 1 person who ignored me and the 3 who said no thanks and truth being told if the people who no thanked me sent me a message tomorrow I would still work with them, the person who ignored me wouldn't have a chance :-P
So basically - always say thanks.. Wether thats a "no thanks" or a "thanks for letting me know".
Rejection doesn't feel nice but its something we all have to learn how to deal with, I'm sure even the best most beautiful models on the planet have faced rejection same as the best photographers. Its better to be rejected than to end up working with somebody who's hearts not in the shoot or who doesn't really want to be there.
Oh and here are some images by Rory from the weekend, I have to say I think the collection of hats I have this fortnight are my personal favourite out of every collection I've borrowed, lots of fur and tartan - both things I love so much.
The designer is working on a new website but you can see some of her work
Hat in the cat run some fabulous workshops where you learn to create your own hats at a pretty reasonable price which would be a great christmas present for anybody, if you are local I do suggest a look around the store - Its filled up high with gorgeous hats as far as the eye can see.
For more information on their workshops and details of the location go
Anyway that is all for now :D