Tuesday, 18 September 2012
The strangest thing happened....
I've had to re-type this several times now..
Given that this is going to be a fairly personal blog post to me I recommend those who don't like reading about how models feel away from modelling then best not to read.
So thats the back story to my anxiety - not very pretty a story really..
So the strange thing which happened was I woke up this morning and didn't feel like I had anxiety, normally the moment I wake up I have to busy myself with distractions from my thoughts or feelings but this morning I felt calm and happy.. Surrounded by my cats and Rory, it was like waking up on a really positive cloud which lifted me away from all my fears. Sadly reality kicked in 10 minutes later but those 10 minutes of calm were possibly the first 10 minutes I've had since my anxiety started. I hope that it happens again because it was truly amazing. Crazy that such a silly emotion such as being calm for a short period of time excites the hell out of me when most people don't appreciate it at all in their lives. So next time you are calm and chilled out just think of me and send some of the calm thoughts over. Anxiety will be with me forever but I might get some more of those happy and calm moments again and I look forward to them and will embrace them all the more when they arrive again.
The images in this blog are all by Rory, the ones above are "Old new" edits from a couple of years ago. This one below is the shot in the old bath I had mentioned in my previous blog :D As always hat is by hat in the cat. This one was selected to go with this dress, I'm kind of running out of suitable clothes so its out with the old wardrobe.
Happy/Calm and peaceful vibes to everyone
Remember appreciate everything you have